Have ever been in the middle of using a computer program (a spreadsheet, word processing, graphics) when with out warning it "locks-up"?

What did you do? Did you turn the computer off, then back on? Did you exercise your vocabulary of four letter words? Did you pound on the keyboard trying to make the computer work? Did you call someone over to help you figure out the problem? Or, did you press the CTRL--ALT--DEL keys? Ah yes, three of the most powerful keys on the keyboard. The use of CTRL--ALT--DEL allows one to reboot --- to start over --- without having to turn the computer off thereby saving time and energy.

For those unfamiliar with the phrase CTRL-ALT-DEL, it is the action one takes to restart their computer after it "locks-up" while in an application program. It stands for Control--Alternate--Delete. It allows one to begin again without having to turn the computer completely off and then starting over from the beginning. Control --- you take command of the situation. Alternate --- you come up with an alternative solution to the problem at hand. Delete --- you get rid of the cause of the problem. We nonchalantly do this whenever we lose control of the keyboard. Why then, can't we do the same thing in our personal lives? We are very similar to computers in that we too are programmed. However, our programs do not always run as smoothly as a computers.

Let's look at some of the programs we've written for ourselves. Where do these programs come from . . . who writes them . . . how do they get programmed into us?

Let's start by looking in the mirror. Look at your Self. Do you feel that your hair is to straight or to curly? Do you feel that your fingers are to long or to stubby? Do you feel that you are to fat or to thin? Do you feel that your feet are to large or to small? Do you see your Self as a success or a failure? Do you think you aren't as smart as others? If the answers you come up with are negative, then you have allowed your Self to be negatively programmed by the perception you think other's have of you.

Our sense of Self is "programmed" into us by our parents, school-mates, friends, co-workers, and spouses. Our personality, our physical demeanor, our dreams, the persona we choose to present to the world are all affected by how our parents (or primary support givers), and peers communicate with us. If you are told repeatedly that you're stupid, you're to fat, you're not capable, why can't you be more like your brother/sister/cousin/neighbor, we begin to lose our sense of Self. It's messages like these that coerce us into comparing our Self with other's which leads to self-depreciating behavior.

We are not here to compare our Self to anyone else. Each of us is unique. Each of us has been given special gifts by Spirit. Whenever we try to live up to the expectations of other's, our life program locks-up. We become stuck, we lose faith in our Self. We believe the negative messages that have been programmed into us throughout our lives. We give CONTROL of our life to someone else. We ALTERNATE our behaviors to suit them. And, we DELETE any positive Self-images we may have had. We believe their "should's." For example: you should be married by now; you should be making more money; you should be nicer; you should own your own house; you should get you hair cut; you should get rid of ________ (fill in the blank); and finally, you should be happy!

How do you take CONTROL of your life, come up with an ALTERNATE plan, and DELETE the negativity? Start by accepting responsibility for everything that you are involved in or that happens to you. You are the creator of your own destiny able to change your character with the turn of a thought backed by constructive action.

Let's look at a hypothetical situation. Your current job or relationship gives you little or no intellectual, emotional, or spiritual satisfaction. You are thinking about leaving, but the pain you know is more comfortable than the perceived pain of a job or relationship change.

CONTROL:
Control requires consciousness (becoming aware of and accepting the consequences of your actions). As you begin to clarify your needs, uncertainty fades and a sense of control replaces it. First ask your Self: "Whose life is this?" If your answer is anything other than "It's my life", you are not ready to take control of your life. Next, ask your Self, "What do I need to make me happy?" Do I need to be appreciated? Am I getting back as much as I'm putting in? Am I happy in my soul? Do I deserve better? What am I suppose to learn from this situation? As you uncover the answers to these questions, clarity begins to replace confusion, uncertainty, and dependency . . . a desire to take responsibility for your Self starts to emerge from the chaos of uncertainty.

ALTERNATE:
Having reached the conclusion that your current life pattern is not acceptable, how do you change it? This part of the plan is both the easiest as well as the most difficult to accomplish. Why? It calls for faith (knowledge and acceptance of your part in the Divine plan). Without faith, there is fear and fear is what paralyzes us. To rid yourself of fear, begin to think with your heart and feel with your brain. Through meditation or prayer or in consultation with a reliable "guide," we can uncover the truths that lie within ourselves. We can discover our Destiny and our calling. With this knowledge, we are able to alter our life patterns so that we guarantee our Self acceptance and success.

DELETE:
To delete a part of your life takes courage. The foundation for that courage is faith . . . in your Self and in the Divine plan. Know that it is a basic law of the universe that "two objects or emotions cannot occupy the same space at the same time", therefore something must be deleted. So, delete the negativity in your life! Replace it with a the positive attitudes of Self-love, Self-acceptance, and Self-guidance.

The choice is always yours, either you are in control of your life or you let other's control it . . . what's your choice?

To help you maintain or achieve control of your life, I would like to offer to you two affirmations, from Barbara Marciniak's book "Bringer's of the Dawn."

"I will accept responsibility for all that I am involved in. I will accept responsibility for everything that happens to me. If I don't like what is happening to me, I will begin to ask myself why I create things I don't like. Maybe it's to get my attention about something so that I can change what is really not working for me that I can not see."